I’ve always wanted to get in to blogging but, aside from never knowing what to blog about, I never did for the same reason I never threw birthday parties. What if no one shows up? One of my biggest fear as a child/teen was throwing a party. Though I began my childhood as an extrovert— socializing with anyone and everyone who would talk back— I entered my teen years as an introvert. The bullying got to me: You stutter. You aren't pretty. You are weird. You talk too much. I made new friends, and they don't like you. It didn't help that I ended up at a private high school across the city from the remaining friends I had left over from childhood. It didn't help that I shied away from socializing because I didn't want these new kids to hear that I had a stutter (I wore a Speech Easy device as well). It didn't help that I wore the wrong uniform on the first day of school, or that I ended up on crutches for the fall and winter. That some of the Juniors and Seniors started calling me “weird girl” and it stuck. If I threw a party, I just knew no one would come. Its amazing how things many years ago still cause me anxiety today. Looking back, though, I realize even though it was small, I still had a group of people around me. People who loved that laughed way too loud, stuttered and told ironic jokes. Who listened to Muse, Panic At The Disco, System of a Down, and Saosin. Who liked foreign films, writing, and art. Who was a proud nerd that made straight A’s. College got better. Adulthood got better. But the thoughts still persists: If I threw a party, who would show? Answer: I don't know. I’m ready to take the plunge. Happy Birthday, Blog!
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