“Hello, my name is Jade and I am a Person Who Stutters.”
My first day, the members began with this— Person First Language. The idea was that the hardest part of all interactions was trying to hide the stutter, but being upfront about it relieves the anxieties and pressures of hiding it. When it was my turn…. I couldn't say the words. Not because of my stutter, but because all the years of negativity associated with my stutter held me back even though I was literally in a room filled with people who stuttered too. I was allowed to cry. I was allowed to sit in silence and just listen. If you’ve ever been bullied as a child, you may know how it feels to be an adult carrying the weight of those negativities that you’ve thought faded with time. How, you might ask, is this reflection relevant to writing and creativity? Once I started introducing myself this way, my relationship with my stuttering changed (don’t get me wrong, I still do have anxieties relating to my stutter and socializing in large crowds). My focus shifted to the ways my stutter has worked in my favor:
It's easy to focus on the negative when the negatives are so visible— it's in the expression of the person you are talking to when you stutter. It's the scrunching of your face as you try to get out a particularly challenging word. It's in the exhaustion and embarrassment that droop your shoulders after you realize that you’ve been ignored (again). After 29 years, I’m starting to refocus myself on the positives. I never lost that childhood love of storytelling, only just shifted gears. Are you or someone you know a person that stutters?
2 Comments
Sandra
6/29/2023 05:17:44 pm
Jade, I am so very proud of you in so many ways. You have faced your fears and stuttering head on. I remember when you can to my tea party and it was your turn to speak.You handled the situation with poise and dignity. As they say "you owned it". You continue to blossom and grow into being your own person with strength and "bad ass" (in a good way) attitude that says I've got this. I know it hasn't been, and sometimes still isn't, easy, but as you have stated, you have turned a negative into so many positives. I admire you and I LOVE you to the moon and back. Great story and beautiful writing. ❤️❤️❤️
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